Teaching sequence

Work through this resource material in the following sequence:

15 minutes

Tune In: What makes a friendship strong?

20 minutes

Find Out: Boundaries, communication and repair

20 minutes

Take Action: Choosing the friend I want to be

5 minutes

Reflection

Learning intentions

Students will:

understand the qualities of healthy friendships, including respect, boundaries, clear communication and repair.

Success criteria

Students can:

explain why boundaries matter and practise communicating their own boundaries
reflect on their own behaviours and qualities to maintain and strengthen friendships.

Tune In: What makes a friendship strong?

Step 1

Explain to students that they will begin with a short, silent reflection to tune into their own experiences of friendship.

Ask students to open their workbooks or writing journals.

Pose the question: How does a healthy friendship feel?

Invite students to complete a quick write for 30–60 seconds, writing down as many words or short phrases as they can (e.g. safe, fun, respected, supported, honest). Explain that there are no perfect answers here, and that they should write what comes to mind from their own experiences and observations.

Remind students to write independently and without interruption during this time.

After the quick write, ask students to turn to a partner and share what they wrote. Encourage them to identify any common themes or similar ideas between their responses.

Bring the class back together and invite pairs to share key themes. Record these on the board for reference throughout the lesson.

Step 2

Explain to students that healthy friendships are not just about how they feel; they are also shaped by what people say and do.

Divide students into small groups of 3–4. Ask each group to draw a T-chart in their books or on a sheet of paper. (A basic template is also available here.) Model this on the board, labelling 1 side ‘Great friend behaviours' and the other side ‘Not-so-great friend behaviours.’

Explain that students will have 3–4 minutes to brainstorm actions, choices and behaviours that can either strengthen a friendship or make it harder for a friendship to feel safe and respectful.

As students work, circulate and prompt their thinking with questions such as:

What helps someone feel included?
What behaviours build trust?
What behaviours might hurt someone or damage a friendship over time?

If needed, prompt with examples such as listening, keeping a promise, checking in, spreading rumours, interrupting, excluding others or ignoring someone’s boundaries.

Step 3

Bring the class back together and ask groups to share 1–2 ideas from each side of their T-chart.

As students share, record key behaviours on the board under the same 2 headings, or circle repeated ideas to show common patterns across the class. Facilitate a short discussion using prompts, such as:

Which behaviours help friendships feel strong and safe?
Which behaviours can weaken trust or damage a connection?
Are some behaviours more harmful than they first seem?

Summarise the discussion by highlighting that healthy friendships are built through everyday actions. Explain that respect, kindness, honesty, listening and clear communication all help friendships grow, while behaviours such as exclusion, teasing, gossip or ignoring boundaries can make friendships feel unsafe or unbalanced.

Let students know that the next part of the lesson will focus on 1 of the most important parts of healthy friendships: boundaries.

Find Out: Boundaries, communication and repair

Step 1

Explain to students that everyone has different comfort levels in friendships, and these comfort levels are called boundaries. Invite students to reflect on the question: What do you think a boundary is?

Elicit a few responses from the class, then guide students toward a shared understanding: boundaries help us show others what feels okay for us and what does not. Boundaries can be about personal space, privacy, tone of voice, joking, sharing secrets, physical contact or how we want to be treated.

Write the following sentence starters on the board:

One thing I’m comfortable with in friendships is...
One thing I’m not comfortable with in friendships is...

Ask students to copy and complete both statements in their workbooks. Let them know they only need to share if they feel comfortable and they should not name specific people.

Give students 1–2 minutes to write. Once they have finished, invite students to share 1 idea with a partner or in a small group.

Bring the class back together and encourage volunteers to share examples of how boundaries can differ from person to person. Highlight that there is no single set of boundaries that suits everyone, and respecting personal boundaries is an essential ingredient to being a thoughtful and trustworthy friend.

Step 2

Explain to students that it is not always easy to speak up when a boundary has been crossed, so it can help to have some respectful language ready. Write the following sentence starters on the board:

I feel... when...
I need...
Next time, please...

Read each statement aloud and highlight how this kind of language helps a person speak honestly without attacking or blaming the other person.

Model 1–2 examples for the class. For example:

I feel upset when my ideas are laughed at. I need to know that I can share without being made fun of. Next time, please let me finish before you respond.
I feel uncomfortable when my personal space feels limited. I need to have room to move my body. Next time, please ask me before trying to hug me.

Ask students what they notice about the structure of these statements before guiding them to see that the speaker is being clear, calm and respectful.

Learning support: If students need additional support with understanding or expressing boundaries, provide more structured examples and model the language slowly, 1 sentence at a time. Display 1 sentence starter at a time and co-construct examples as a class before asking students to try independently. Where appropriate, tailor examples to reflect common, low-risk friendship scenarios relevant to the group (e.g. interrupting, personal space, sharing materials), while avoiding naming specific students or situations.

Step 3

Outline to students that they will now practise using respectful boundary-setting language through a short role-play.

Write a selection of scenarios on the board. These could include:

A friend keeps interrupting.
A friend makes a joke that goes too far.
A friend keeps taking over a game or group task.
A friend excludes someone from a conversation or activity.
A friend shares something private.

Organise students into pairs and give each pair a simple friendship scenario where a boundary has been crossed. Explain that the first student will practise responding by using the framework from Step 2. The second student will listen without interrupting.

Ask pairs to decide who will speak first and who will listen first.

Give pairs 1–2 minutes to put this into practice before asking students to swap roles and either repeat the same scenario with improved language or try a different one.

After both students have had a turn, bring the class back together and debrief with questions such as:

What helped the message sound respectful?
What was challenging about speaking clearly?
How might this kind of language help in a real friendship?

Reinforce that setting a boundary is not being mean – it is 1 way of being honest, respectful and clear in a relationship.

Step 4

Reinforce that words can have a big impact on friendships, especially when information is passed from person to person. Explain to the class that they are going to do a short activity to show how messages can change as they move through a group.

Ask students to form a circle or sit in a way that allows a message to be passed from 1 person to the next with ease.

Whisper a short, neutral sentence to the first student. For example: ‘The blue hat was left near the library after lunch.’

Ask that student to whisper the message to the next person, and continue until the message has passed around the group.

Ask the final student who received the message to say it aloud. Then read the original sentence to the class.

Guide a class discussion using questions such as:

What changed?
Was any part of the message lost, added or mixed up?
What might happen if the message were about a real person?
How could this affect trust in a friendship group?

Connect this learning to boundaries by highlighting that rumours and second-hand information can quickly change and spread. Even when someone does not mean to cause harm, the impact can still be hurtful. Explain that respectful friendships involve thinking carefully before repeating information about someone else and that not spreading rumours can be a boundary that everyone holds.

Step 5

Explain to students that even strong friendships can have mistakes, misunderstandings or hurt feelings. What matters is how people respond and whether they try to repair the friendship.

Write the word 'repair' on the board before asking students what they think 'friendship repair' might mean.

Invite several students to share their responses, then explain that repairing means taking responsibility when something has gone wrong and working to rebuild trust.

Connect this idea back to earlier learning by reminding students that when boundaries are crossed or words cause harm, as in the rumour-spreading activity, repair helps rebuild trust and strengthen the friendship again.

To embed understanding, attach the idea of repair to real examples. Facilitate a whole-class discussion using prompts, such as:

When might a friendship need repair?
What does a genuine apology look or sound like?
Why is listening important when someone is hurt?
How can actions show that a person is trying to make things better, not just saying sorry?

If helpful, guide students towards the idea that repair often includes

noticing that someone has had their feelings hurt
taking responsibility
saying sorry in a genuine way
listening to the other person’s feelings
making a commitment to change an unhelpful behaviour moving forward.

Close the discussion by reinforcing that nobody gets friendships right all the time. Healthy friendships are not perfect, but they do involve honesty, care, and a willingness to repair when harm has occurred.

Take Action: Choosing the friend I want to be

Step 1

Explain to students that they will now bring together what they have discussed and turn it into action.

Remind the class that healthy friendships are shaped by repeated choices and behaviours, not just good intentions.

As a class, ask students to suggest positive friendship behaviours they think are most important for the year ahead. Prompt their thinking with questions such as:

What would help our friendships feel strong and respectful?
What behaviours do we want to be known for as a class?
What would help people feel safe, included and valued?

Record all suggestions on the board.

Once several ideas have been gathered, work with the class to choose 3 shared friendship commitments. Examples might include:

We respect each other’s boundaries.
We speak kindly and honestly.
We repair harm instead of spreading rumours or staying silent.

Read the 3 commitments aloud and check that the class understands what each one looks like in practice. Invite students to read the commitments aloud together as a way to own these statements.

Step 2

Share with students that 1 way to strengthen friendships is to notice and name what we appreciate in other people.

Tell students they will now write a short gratitude note to a friend. This can be written to a real friend, a classmate, or as an anonymous note if that feels more comfortable.

Provide each student with a piece of lined paper.

Write the following sentence starters on the board:

I am grateful for...
You showed me this when...
It made me feel...

Model a simple example before students begin, for instance, ‘I am grateful for your kindness. You showed me this when you noticed I was upset and checked in on me. It made me feel supported and less alone.’

Explain that effective gratitude writing is specific and personal. Encourage students to avoid very general statements and instead focus on 1 real action or moment using the sentence starters to support this specific structure.

Give students 3–5 minutes to write their gratitude note.

If appropriate, students can share their notes with the person they wrote it for after class, place it in a class gratitude box, or simply keep it as a private reflection.

Learning support: If students find it challenging to identify a person or experience to write about, provide additional structure by assigning each student a peer at random (e.g. drawing names from a container). This can reduce social pressure and support inclusion across the class. Ensure clear expectations are set for respectful, appropriate language, and remind students to focus on positive, specific actions. Additionally, ensuring students give their notes after class has concluded will reduce feelings of exclusion or embarrassment.

Step 3

Emphasise to students that the final part of the lesson is about personal responsibility.

Write the following statement on the board: ‘This week, I will be a better friend by…’

Ask students to complete the sentence in their workbooks. Encourage them to choose 1 realistic, specific action. For example

listening without interrupting
checking in on someone
respecting someone’s space
speaking up calmly when something does not feel okay
apologising if they have hurt someone.

Invite students to share their commitment with a partner. Ask pairs to listen carefully and, if needed, help each other make the commitment more specific and achievable.

Bring the class back together and remind students that friendship habits are built through small actions repeated over time.

Reflection

Ask students to finish the lesson with a short personal reflection.

This can be completed as a written reflection, a pair-share, or a whole-class closing discussion.

Write 1 or both of the following questions on the board:

How can the way I communicate and respect boundaries shape my friendships?
What kind of friend do I want to be as I move into high school?

Give students 1–2 minutes of quiet thinking time before inviting responses.

If students are writing, encourage them to answer in full sentences and refer back to ideas from the lesson.

Close the lesson by reinforcing that healthy friendships are built through respect, communication, boundaries and repair. Remind students that these are skills they can keep practising as they grow and as their friendships change.

Friendship Foundations

Summary

Learning intentions

Success criteria

Lesson Guides and Printables

Lesson Details

Skills Required

Curriculum Mapping

Resources Required

UN Sustainable Development Goals

Additional Information

Related Professional Learning

Friendship Foundations

Summary

Learning intentions

Success criteria

Lesson Guides and Printables

Lesson Details

Skills Required

Curriculum Mapping

Resources Required

UN Sustainable Development Goals

Additional Information

Related Professional Learning