Teaching sequence

Work through this resource material in the following sequence:

10 minutes

Tune In: What sets me off?

25 minutes

Find Out: From reaction to response

20 minutes

Take Action: Big Feelings Toolkit

5 minutes

Reflection

Learning intentions

Students will:

understand the difference between reacting and responding, and how to manage emotions
reflect on activators that commonly lead to strong emotional reactions.

Success criteria

Students can:

practise regulation strategies for big feelings
develop a personal plan for responding to big feelings when they arise.

Tune In: What sets me off?

Step 1

Ask students to stand and find a partner.

Explain that students will play a quick round of ‘rock, paper, scissors’ with the goal of playing against as many other students as they can in 2 minutes.

Avoid framing the activity in terms of winning or losing – keeping the focus on participation allows students’ natural reactions to emerge, which can deepen discussion during the debrief.

Once students have played, bring the class back together and ask students to reflect on the experience. Ask:

What did you notice while playing?
How did it feel when things went your way?
How did it feel when they didn’t?
Did any emotions change quickly during the game?

Take a few responses and keep the tone light. Highlight something that was observed during the game. For example, even though the instructions didn’t mention winning or losing, many students reacted to whether they won or lost.

Elicit responses to:

Why might that have happened?
What made winning or losing feel important in that moment?

Guide students to recognise:

The situation itself was simple.
The reaction came from what it meant to them.

Step 2

Build on this discussion by introducing the concept of activators.

Provide students with a definition of an activator: something that starts or sets off an emotional response.

The term ‘activator’ is used in this lesson instead of ‘trigger’. While ‘trigger’ is commonly used in everyday language, it is also a clinical term often associated with trauma and may carry stronger or more sensitive meanings for some students. Using the term ‘activator’ provides a more neutral and accessible way to describe something that starts or sets off an emotional response. This supports inclusive classroom language while still building students’ understanding of how emotions begin and develop.

Point out that the game and students’ responses can be an example of an activation.

Clarify that the game itself was not the problem; for some people, experiences such as losing, fairness or competition can activate a stronger emotional reaction.

Highlight that different people are activated by different things and the same situation can feel very different depending on the person.

Reinforce the idea that an activator is something that activates a strong emotional response. Recognising activators is an important step in understanding and managing emotions.

Step 3

Invite students to reflect more personally by asking them to consider the following prompt: When do emotions start to feel really big?

Provide examples to support thinking, such as

conflict during group work
feeling left out or excluded
losing a game
being teased
feeling embarrassed
experiencing social pressure.

Ask students to jot down a few ideas in their workbooks, highlighting that these can remain general.

Invite students to discuss the following questions with a partner:

What usually happens just before the feeling gets bigger?
What do they notice in their bodies when this happens?

Encourage students to draw on any prior learning about body signals.

Step 4

Bring the class back together and invite students who feel comfortable to share their answers. As students share, capture ideas on the board to make patterns visible. Highlight:

The body often gives signals before a reaction occurs.
Recognising activators and body signals builds awareness.
Awareness creates an opportunity to make different choices.

Connect the learning to the lesson's purpose and the key idea: between an activation and a reaction, there is a moment when a choice can be made.

Explain that this lesson will explore how to recognise that moment and use strategies to pause, so responses can be more intentional and controlled, rather than automatic.

Find Out: From reaction to response

Step 1

Build on students’ understanding of activators from the Tune In section. Emphasise that when an activation occurs, emotions do not just appear all at once; they often build step-by-step. This process is called an escalation pathway.

Write the following sequence on the board:

Activator → Body Signal → Thought → Reaction → Consequence

Briefly explain each stage:

Activator: something happens (e.g. losing a game, being left out).
Body signal: physical changes begin (e.g. faster heartbeat, tense muscles).
Thought: what is said internally (e.g. ‘That’s not fair’).
Reaction: what is said or done in the moment.
Consequence: what happens as a result of that action.

Step 2

Model the escalation pathway using a simple, relatable scenario, such as a student being left out of a game at lunch. Work through the pathway as a class:

activator: not being included
body signal: tight chest, feeling hot
thought: ‘They don’t want me there’
reaction: walking away angrily or saying something hurtful
consequence: feeling more isolated or being in conflict with others

Ask:

Where did the emotion start to build?
At which point could something have changed?

Guide students to begin noticing that there are points where a different choice could be made.

Step 3

Explain that students will now explore the escalation pathway using different scenarios.

Set up the classroom with 5 labelled areas using the Escalation Pathway Room Labels.

Divide students into small groups of 2–3 and provide each group with an Escalation Pathway Worksheet and a Handling Big Emotions Scenario Card.

Instruct groups to

move together through each stage of the pathway
discuss what might be happening at each point
respond to the guiding questions on their worksheet as they move.

Model briefly how a group would move through 1 stage before they begin.

Bring the class back together at the end of the activity, then invite groups to share key insights from their scenarios. As students share, highlight patterns and reinforce

emotions build in stages
body signals are early clues
thoughts influence reactions
reactions can lead to consequences.

Ask: Where does escalation start to become harder to manage?

Guide students to recognise that the earlier the stage, the more control is possible.

Step 4

Introduce the key distinction between:

Reaction: quick, automatic, often driven by emotion.
Response: slower, more intentional, thought-through.

Highlight that reactions happen quickly without thinking, while responses involve pausing and making a conscious choice.

Write both definitions on the board.

Use a simple comparison to model the same situation, demonstrating that the outcome can change depending on whether a person reacts or responds, and on their rising emotions. For example, if the activator is ‘losing a game’, then:

A reaction is yelling or blaming others.
A response is taking a breath and trying again.

Ask: What changes the outcome in these situations?

Guide students to identify that pausing and making a conscious choice can change what happens next.

Step 5

Build on this by elaborating on the idea of a pause: the moment between an activation and a reaction, where a different choice can be made. A pause is where control and choice become possible.

Connect back to the escalation pathway – the pause can happen when body signals are noticed, or when thoughts begin to form.

Highlight that pausing creates space to think and allows a response instead of a reaction.

Step 6

Invite students to share any strategies they already use to pause and capture these on the board. Add additional strategies where needed, such as

taking a slow breath
counting to 5
naming the feeling (‘I feel frustrated’)
stepping away briefly
using positive self-talk (‘I can handle this’).

Briefly model 1–2 strategies with the class or invite students to lead their peers in practising a strategy they suggest.

Step 7

Explain that students will now practise using pause strategies and responding intentionally using the scenarios from earlier.

Divide students into groups of 3 and give each group a Handling Big Emotions Scenario Card.

Explain that in their groups, they will take it in turns to:

Identify the activator.
Act out an initial reaction.
Pause and apply a strategy.
Try again with a more intentional response.

The 2 students observing will identify:

What was the activator?
What strategy was used?
Was the second attempt a reaction or a response?

Rotate roles so each student has a turn at trying a strategy in response to the scenario.

After the activity, bring the class back together for a discussion using the following prompts:

What differences were noticed between reactions and responses?
How did using a pause strategy change the outcome?

Reiterate that understanding how emotions build and using an intentional pause can help people respond in ways that lead to better outcomes and stronger relationships.

Take Action: Big Feelings Toolkit

Step 1

Explain that although understanding activators, body signals and pause strategies can help in the moment, it is even more powerful to have a plan ready.

Introduce the idea of a ‘Big Feelings Toolkit’: a simple, personal plan students can use when emotions start to feel strong.

Step 2

Provide each student with a Big Feelings Toolkit Worksheet (or ask them to set up a page in their workbooks) and ask them to complete the following sections:

My common activators: situations that can set off strong emotions.
My body signals: what is noticed early in the body.
My pause strategy: a strategy that helps create space.
My helpful response: a more intentional way to act or respond.
A trusted adult I can go to: someone who can provide support if needed.

Encourage students to draw on:

ideas from the Tune In section (activators)
the escalation pathway
strategies practised earlier.

As students work, circulate and support where needed, focusing on helping their responses be specific and realistic. For example, instead of:

‘Stay calm’, change to ‘take 3 slow breaths’.
‘Be nicer’, change to ‘walk away and come back later’.

Step 3

Bring the class back together and briefly remind students that everyone’s toolkit will look different and having a plan makes it easier to respond in the moment.

Connect back to earlier learning by reminding students that without a pause, reactions can happen quickly and lead to consequences that may affect relationships.

Highlight that using strategies and repairing situations if needed (e.g. apologising, explaining, resetting) can help maintain or rebuild trust.

Reflection

Summarise the key idea that understanding activators, body signals and pause strategies creates more choice in how to respond.

Ask students to reflect on the following question: How can choosing to respond instead of react change relationships and outcomes?

Allow students time to think independently. To support deeper thinking, prompt with questions, such as:

What might happen when someone reacts without pausing?
How can using a pause strategy change a situation?
How might responses affect other people?

Invite students to think-pair-share, then ask for a few voluntary responses to share with the whole class.

Handling Big Feelings

Go to

Summary

Learning intentions

Success criteria

Lesson Guides and Printables

Lesson Details

Skills Required

Curriculum Mapping

Resources Required

UN Sustainable Development Goals

Additional Information

Related Professional Learning

In this lesson

Handling Big Feelings

Go to

Summary

Learning intentions

Success criteria

Lesson Guides and Printables

Lesson Details

Skills Required

Curriculum Mapping

Resources Required

UN Sustainable Development Goals

Additional Information

Related Professional Learning

In this lesson