Teaching Sequence

30 minutes – Part A: Descriptive and Sensory Writing Introduction
30 minutes – Part B: Individual Observation and Writing Practice
20 minutes – Part C: Self and Peer Editing
10 minutes – Reflection

Work through this resource material in the following sequence:

Part A: Descriptive and Sensory Writing Introduction

Step 1.

Introduce the lesson by explaining to students that they will be examining and practising descriptive writing using the five senses - often called sensory language or sensory writing. Point out to students that one of the ways they can effectively communicate about their issue, especially in pitching any ideas or demonstrating the significance of some aspect of it, is through using the five senses to engage their audience. Explain that doing this can get the audience to imagine themselves in the time or place or imagine being impacted by the issue.

Demonstrate this by projecting the Sensory Writing Example slide to the class. Read the first example with the class and ask students to evaluate how effective it is in engaging the audience in what is happening.

Next, read the second example that includes sensory language and again ask students to evaluate how effective it is in engaging the audience. A copy of this slide has been embedded on the Student Worksheet. Challenge students to identify where the five senses have been used in the second example. Circle the examples of each on the version projected on the whiteboard.

Touch/feel = breathing her hot breath on the damp hair at the base of his neck
Sound = the only sound was his grandmother's laboured breathing and the mournful creak of the wooden stairs
Smell = She smelled of wet cigarettes and bacon
Taste = His mouth filled with the sweet, coppery taste of blood
Sight = “lurched over and grabbed the pale skin of Randal’s thin forearm with her leathery hand” AND “fidgeted with a small hole in his baseball jersey, and bit his lip.”

Step 2.

Project and invite students to open the Sensory Writing Example: "Dying Steppe" that is embedded in their Student Worksheet. Explain to students that sensory and descriptive writing works powerfully to connect readers with issues by appealing to the senses and that in doing so, readers can care more about the issue and potentially take some kind of action.

Read through the first page with students and ask them to identify any examples of the sensory language that are used and the effect this has on the audience. There is a table provided on their worksheet. Some examples from the article that students might find are listed below. Discuss the impact of these with students. You might need to read or explain a little more from the article to contextualise these:
“...rides a stocky white horse out onto the steppe, a choppy trot moving toward two dots in the dry grass.”
“...dismounts next to a sheep and lamb…”
“...spreads a plastic bag on the ground, offering its contents of bran…”
“...using the animal for protection against a bitter wind that ruffles his knee-length deel overcoat, its thick blue cloth flecked with horse hair…”
“...spectacular expanse of undulating grassland…”

Step 3.

Invite students to open the Descriptive and Sensory Writing Factsheet that is embedded in their Student Worksheet. You can also project this to the class. Read through the information provided with the class, again emphasising how descriptive and sensory language can be used to communicate aspects of issues more creatively and engage the audience in different ways. Facilitate a discussion to clarify student understanding or any questions they might have.

Part B: Individual Observation and Writing Practice

Step 1.

Inform students that they will now practise writing by focusing their observations on their local community and the issue or challenge they identify using descriptive and sensory language. Encourage them to continue working with the issue they have used in previous lessons in the La Trobe University Aspire Generation English Unit.

Remind students that their finished product doesn't need to be perfect - rather they should use this time to practice using sensory language in the context of their chosen issue or challenge.

Before they begin writing a short passage, students should spend a few minutes brainstorming possible ideas or aspects of the issue or challenge that could be effectively communicated using sensory language. In brainstorming their ideas, encourage students to think about the nature of their chosen issue or challenge, who it affects, possible solutions and various outcomes from these solutions.

Step 2.

Give students time to individually write about their chosen issue or challenge, monitoring their progress and offering advice or encouragement where appropriate.

After students have finished, encourage them, wherever it is safe or possible to do so, to conduct a site visit to observe closely any opportunities to enhance their use of descriptive or sensory language by using their senses. For example, if the issue students have identified is the lack of green spaces in the local community, students could observe carefully the sensory experiences they have in the urban environment, and compare it with the preferable experience that a green space could provide.

Another powerful learning experience for students would be to find an area in their local community and position themselves comfortably to simply observe their surroundings. From this, students could observe carefully and document their sensory experiences to consider ways the environment could be could improved. For example, you could organise a brief field trip to a local community space and ask students to use their senses to perceive what is around them and write a descriptive piece. From this, students can begin to imagine and perceive that space differently, using this as stimulus for ideas around the changes that would make improvements. Students could also be encouraged to do this in their own time to help them come up with an idea or initiative that could be completed in the Social Action phase of the unit.

Part C: Self and Peer Editing

Step 1.

Remind students that an important part of any writing process is the editing stage, where grammatical inaccuracies and errors can be fixed, and clarity of meaning can be enhanced. Invite students to form pairs and explain that they will conduct a self-check and peer-check to edit their work. Explain that while they might pick up errors in their own work, often, a fresh and objective set of eyes reading through work can pick up on simple errors and offer new insights into how the work can be improved.

Invite students to form pairs, and then open the Editing Checklist that is embedded on the Student Worksheet. You could provide students with printed copies if preferable. Give students time to read through their own work first, using the checklist to make any changes, corrections or additions.

Step 2.

Invite students to swap their work and checklist with their partner and ask them to now read through their partner’s work carefully, using the prompts on the checklist to give each other feedback. Point out to students that the peer check side has some additional questions and space for suggestions and comments.

After this is completed, students can use remaining time to redraft or make some of the changes that their partners have identified. Remind students that this work is not something that they are assessed on and it is OK if it isn’t perfect. The learning for this activity will be in applying and practicing writing with the senses as well as editing for accuracy.

Reflection

Conclude the lesson by asking students to reflect on their learning by completing the following questions (also included on their Student Worksheet):

What did you notice about the difference that sensory and descriptive language can make to writing?
What did you find easy/challenging about writing with the senses?
In your experiences this lesson, what comments could you make about the challenges or requirements of sensory writing?
Think about the editing process. What did you find easy or difficult to complete when editing your own work?
How did reading and editing someone else’s work help you think differently or develop new ideas for your own written work?

Aspire Generation - Writing to Describe Local Issues

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