Teaching sequence

Work through this resource material in the following sequence:

15 minutes

Explore: Friendship qualities

25 minutes

Discover: Traffic light friendships

20 minutes

Thrive: Healthy friendships

Explore: Friendship qualities

Teacher note: This lesson builds upon concepts taught in another lesson titled ‘Tribe: Effective Communication.’ If you haven’t taught the ‘Tribe: Effective Communication’ lesson, it is recommended you read over the lesson and ensure students are familiar with the basic concepts before proceeding.

Step 1

Advise that students must write a 60- to 80 word advertisement for a newspaper seeking an ideal friend. Their advertisement needs to include the qualities they are looking for in a friend and the qualities that are deal breakers to them. Provide each student with lined paper or a digital device and give them 5 minutes to write their advert.

Example:

Seeking a new friend who loves to try new things, has a great sense of humour and is supportive and kind. Ideally, they will love spicy food and have a fun and bubbly personality. Bonus points if they play soccer and love Marvel films. People should not inquire if they like to talk about people behind their backs or want to talk constantly in class, as schoolwork is important to me. They should stop reading if they’re allergic to dogs, as I have two.

Encourage students to volunteer to read their advertisements.

Discover: Traffic light friendships

Step 1

Instruct students to form groups of 3-4. Give each group a piece of butcher’s paper and get them to create 3 even rows. The top row can be labelled “Red,” the middle row “Yellow,” and the bottom row “Green.”

Step 2

Using their Friendship Advert as inspiration, students should brainstorm the qualities they identify as belonging to the red (not-so-good) or green (good) category. Advise them that the qualities in the red category should be considered not-so-good for anyone, not just personal preference. Advise them to leave the yellow row empty for now.

Step 3

Introduce the red, yellow and green traffic light friendship system.

Provide the following explanations:

Red indicates the negative behaviours, qualities and other not-so-good signs of friendship.

Examples: Pressures you to do things you don’t want to do, speaks poorly about people you care about, you don’t feel safe around them.

Yellow indicates the warning signs and behaviours of friendship.

Examples: You feel the need to impress them and might be worried about letting them down, they sometimes make fun of you, they tell you not to hang out with certain people.

Green indicates the affirming and positive behaviours, qualities and signs of friendship.

Examples: You feel respected and happy around them, they celebrate your successes, they are happy to share their feelings with you and you can share yours with them.

With this concept in mind, ask students to consider their red and green lists and build on them. They can also add warning signs of friendship to the yellow row. Discuss as a class.

Use the following questions to prompt discussion:

How do you know someone is a good friend?
How do you know when someone isn’t a good friend?
If there are warning signs, what should you do?

Provide the following explanation to assist their thinking:

Being honest with yourself about the quality of your friendships can be challenging as we all want to feel as though we have people we belong with and feel accepted by. However, good friends will make you feel respected and will celebrate you for being who you are. You should never feel unsafe and uncomfortable around people you consider friends or feel the need to be someone you know you aren’t. Tune into the traffic light signs, as prioritising and investing in green-light friends will set you up for positive, healthy, long-lasting friendships.

Teacher note: You may like to share your own reflection on a friendship from your high school years to highlight that it can be challenging to let go of friends, but doing so opens room to be truly accepted and respected by true friends for who you are.

Thrive: Healthy friendships

Step 1

Working in the same groups, advise students that 3 scenarios will be projected on the screen. They need to discuss how they would approach each scenario. Project the Friendship Scenarios and give students 2 minutes to discuss before sharing answers with the class.

Scenarios:

Emma and Sarah: Communication breakdown
Alex and Taylor: Jealousy and comparison
Liam and Max: Toxic (red) friendship

Step 2

Ask students to consider the discussions for each friendship scenario and the strategies that were suggested in approaching the scenario. Brainstorm a list of strategies on the board as a class.

Examples:

Use assertive communication and plan a time for a chat.
Listen and acknowledge the other person's struggles without interrupting.
Don’t make it about you and realise that everyone has their own stuff going on.
Remind your friends about their unique qualities.
Calmly ask for space and time away from a friendship.
Have an honest conversation.
Put your wellbeing first.

Provide the following explanation to assist their thinking:

Friendship is important; however, not all friendships are going to serve you well, and it’s important to recognise when it’s time to take a step back. If you notice a friendship is having a negative influence on your thoughts and/or actions, you may need to use assertive communication to ask for space or set clear boundaries. At the same time, it’s great to acknowledge the green light friendships and continue strengthening those through consistent and open communication.

Step 3

To help students apply their learning, ask them to reflect on their current friendships and how they would rate themselves as friends. Encourage them to apply the green light requirements to each friendship and evaluate whether their friendships are mostly positive and uplifting. Provide each student with a Good Friends worksheet to complete and solidify their reflections independently.

Step 4

To wrap up the lesson, ask students to reflect on their biggest learning about friendship from the lesson. Have them discuss their answer with a partner before inviting some students to share with the class.

If time permits, have students set 1 friendship goal they would like to work on for the next week.

Examples:

Have the conversation with a friend I’ve been putting off.
Remind my best friends why they are so awesome.
Apologise for a hurtful comment I made earlier in the week that everyone laughed at.

Tribe: Healthy Friendships

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